When I went to bed last night I took two big bath towel with me and some razor blades. I started to cut, and I couldn't stop. It was a relief. Look at the blood when it streamed down my arm, and into the big soft towel. Feel the pain. See how my blood coagulated. It was so smeary and smutty. When I finally felt into sleep and when I did wake up with blood all over myself.

I should probably been at the casualty clinic, because some of them was pretty deep. I could look at my pure white bone. I could see every move, but I could also look at the fat. Yuck! But when I looked at my bone it was ok in one way, I could forget everything else. I was obsessed with the thought of my bone, that I want every single bone in my body to be visible...

Fanget i en kropp jeg ikke vil ha

Fanget i et sinn som ødelegger meg

Fanget i meg selv

Er min egen fiende

Er min egen undergang

Tar sakte men sikkert å dreper meg selv

Vil ikke mer

Vil bare bli tynn

Vil dø

Orker ikke synet av deg

Hater deg!

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